10 April 2006

Identity Crisis

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!
--"I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin Degraw

This morning in devotions, the speaker mentioned the old saw that people's identities are tied to their professions. According to this ida, when a person ask herself, "Who am I?", the first answer is "I'm a doctor" or "I'm a mechanic" or whatever. It occurred to me that I don't do that. Why? Because I'm just Dani. I don't feel that I am accomplished enough in any one area to attach that to my identity. If I say "I am a knitter", that sets up espectations that I can't meet. Even calling myself a mother or a wife feels false. If you put a surveillance camera in my house, it wouldn't take you long to exclaim, "What kind of wife/mother are you?" I don't fit the mold; in my mind, I'm just a girl who chose to attach herself to this man and care for these children. So if I can't identify myself by what I do, how do I figure out who I am?


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