My Exercise Paradox

 (I spent more time than I should have, trying to figure out if "paradox" was the correct word to use in this instance. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm using it, anyway.)

One of the big symptoms of multiple sclerosis is fatigue, and the main suggestion to help manage it is to exercise regularly. Even before my diagnosis, I never was a person who got energy from exercise, even after sticking to a routine for several months. Right now, I barely have the energy to walk to the bathroom and back, so how am I supposed to exercise? 

We went on our family vacation over the Labor Day weekend, and walking through the airport nearly took me out. I did my best to keep up with everyone and not complain, but my husband ABM ended up getting me a wheelchair to get through the airport on the way back. After that experience, I told myself that I would make more of an effort to improve my fitness before the next trip. Now that I have recovered from the crud I caught on vacation, I should be ready to start an exercise routine. In reality, I don't even have the energy to keep myself fed. 

Despite the urge to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself, I will be walking in place beside my bed while I watch TV with my hubby this evening. It's not much, but I have to start somewhere, right?

First of the Month Fitness Thoughts: Aug 2013

Like a lot of folks, I get jazzed about new things at the first of the week or the first of the month. Monday feels like a sharpened pencil and a brand new notebook to me, and the dawning of a new month feels like another chance to build a new habit. If there is a routine or regimen I want to try, that is usually when I start. This month is no exception. I've got three fitness-related challenges that I've started for August and I want to share my thoughts on them.

The first challenge is intermittent fasting. I read a book at the end of July called The Fast Diet: The Simple Secret of Intermittent Fasting: Lose Weight, Stay Healthy, Live Longer that is based on a British documentary called Eat, Fast, and Live Longer. Although the premise sounds gimmicky, it is not too far off from the ebb and flow of my normal eating. Some days I am ravenous and eat everything in the house, while on other days I barely consume 1,000 calories. The concept of intermittent fasting takes that and makes it more purposeful. Basically, I will be limiting myself to 500 calories on Mondays and Thursdays, and then eating whatever I want on the other five days. This is my first week doing it and it is tough but not impossible. If I sacrifice 150 of my calories in order to put a small amount of sugar and cream in my coffee, it goes a lot more smoothly!

The second challenge is a mileage challenge. We did a family mileage challenge in June, which I lost, of course. This time I am using a new feature of my Nike+ Running app to challenge an online friend to walk 30 miles in August. I think this is achievable as long as I don't take off more than a day between workouts. This is more of a mental challenge than a physical challenge. While I can safely say I've reached a fitness level that allows me to walk a mile straight without too much trouble, making myself get off the computer and go do it is what's difficult.

Lastly, I'm doing a month-long plank challenge. I recently discovered, thanks to some online friends who are much more fit than I am, that there are all sorts of challenges online where you start out doing a single exercise or routine and ramp up your reps or your time as you go through the month. With the plank challenge, you start out doing one 20-second plank a day and by the end of the month you should be doing a five-minute plank. I was doing an arm challenge last month, but I tapped out around day 15. Hopefully, I can stick with this one longer than that.

There is actually one more challenge that I've set for myself, and that is to remember to check in with my fitness thoughts at the beginning of every month -- hence, the title of this post. This should help me meet two goals: getting more fit and blogging more often. Let's see how it goes.

Sitting on a rumble pack

Although I know that everyone's experience with multiple sclerosis is different, blogging about my symptoms seems like I am asking for pity. However, a new symptom has cropped up that I wanted to tell someone about. If I can't whine on my own blog, then where can I whine? :-)

The official name of today's symptom is Lhermitte's Sign and it is often triggered by lowering your chin to your chest as if a barber is going to trim the hair at the back of your neck. Some people have pain with it, but not me. What I'm getting is buzzing and vibrating. The vibrating is a little stronger when I bow my head, but I am also vibrating when I am not bowing my head.

Have you ever played a console game with the rumble turned on? The kids and I have been playing Red Dead Redemption on the Xbox, and every time you run your character's wagon off the road and into the grass you can feel the controller vibrate in your hand. Now imagine that you are sitting on the vibrating controller and it vibrates every five seconds. That is what I have been feeling since I woke up this morning.

The vibrating isn't debilitating, but it was troublesome today. I had a strong need to walk and prove that my legs were still working, so I walked around the block three times. At the end of the walk, I was so wobbly. I felt like I was going to vibrate apart and have pieces of me fly all over the subdivision!

Is sauerkraut my new miracle food?

When it comes to how I eat, there are a few holdovers from my childhood in New York. When kids here were eating hot dogs with chili and coleslaw, I was eating them with sauerkraut and mustard. I eventually adjusted to the southern way, but I still like sauerkraut a lot. I don't buy it that often because for a long time I was the only one in the house who ate it. After my experience this week, I may keep a jar or two in the fridge all the time.

From time to time, I wake up with my stomach burning. Usually I drink ginger ale, which eases it a little but not much. Last week, I had this problem again and I happened to have a jar of sauerkraut in the fridge. Lunch was to be hot dogs and sauerkraut, so that's what I ate. The next day I had the same thing again for lunch. It didn't hit me until the third day that my stomach burning was gone. Last night it came back, so I had some sauerkraut again today to see if it helps again.

I've been reading about the Paleo way of eating, and one of the things mentioned in the book Practical Paleo: A Customized Approach to Health and a Whole-Foods Lifestyle is that fermented foods like sauerkraut are good for stomach health. I'm not ready to embrace the entire Paleo lifestyle, but I think I can manage eating a little sauerkraut every day if it will save me some misery.

Trying the 5K walking plan again

During the spring of 2011 I wrote a post about starting the 5K Your Way walking plan on the Sparkpeople website. I didn't post again because I didn't stick to it. Last year I tried it again and didn't make it past the second week of the five-week plan. Today I started over for the third time.

The focus of the program alternates between time and distance. The first day you walk for 15 minutes, the second day you walk one mile, the third day you walk 1.5 miles, the fourth day you walk 25 minutes, and so on. The first few sessions will be a piece of cake because I've already been walking at that level for a while. Where I have run into problems the last two times I tried this plan was when I had to walk any further than 1.5 miles. I can walk for about 40 minutes but I really start slowing down after 20 minutes. That means it takes me 60 minutes or longer to walk two miles. The last two times I ended up quitting before I had to do the two-mile walk because I don't want to spend an hour on the treadmill or walking around my neighborhood.

If I already know I can't stick to the plan, then why am I trying it again? Well, I'm hoping that my ultimate goal will encourage me. ABM and I will be taking a vacation in September and he has promised me that he would do a walking tour with me. Usually he goes for activities like para-sailing while I sit in a lounge chair reading. To get him to walk around a city and visit museums and such with me will be a real treat, so I want to make sure I can handle it. Most of the tours I've seen involve being on your feet for two hours and walking about two miles. For that I will definitely need stamina and it is worth it to me to give this walking plan one more shot.

Does the universe want me to get some sleep?

I am starting to believe that it is dangerous for me to think about getting up early. Yesterday I was in a Facebook conversation about about getting up early to exercise, and that put the thought out in the universe. Everything went downhill from there.

Lately I've gotten in the habit of watching TV until midnight or 1a with ABM, then playing on my iPad, then playing on my iPhone until I am super drowsy. Last night ABM fell asleep at 11:30p. Next my iPad decided to act up, so I turned it off. When I grabbed my phone, I found that my daughter had drained the battery without telling me. So I had no choice but to go to sleep. Then I woke up this morning at 5:30a, which is crazy-early for me.

This is not the first time this has happened to me. It seems that if I formulate the thought that I should get up to exercise or do something productive, the universe conspires against me to make it happen. Of course, waking up early doesn't always mean that I do anything worthwhile. I am typing this at 2:30p, and all I've managed to do is get dressed and drink coffee. I haven't even eaten yet. I did unfold the treadmill when I went down to get the coffee, hoping it will be easier to convince myself to exercise since the furniture has already been moved. Maybe tomorrow I can do a little better.

What I learned from making butternut squash soup

Today I made butternut squash soup for the first time. When I say "first time", I'm not only referring to trying this recipe; this is the first time I've ever tasted butternut squash, period. As part of my quest to put more simple and unprocessed food on the table, I'm trying produce that I've never cooked myself or sometimes even eaten before.

When I first moved out on my own, I was a slave to the written recipe. As a kid I didn't stand at my mother's elbow and learn my way around a kitchen because daily cooking for sustenance was a chore to me. The only cooking I enjoyed was following unusual recipes from the cookbooks that fascinated me, usually vintage volumes or books outlining authentic recipes from foreign cuisines such as Chinese or Mexican. Nowadays I still feel more comfortable with a recipe, but more often than not I don't have all the ingredients at hand. So I go on the internet and pull up several versions of the same dish to give me an idea of how to cook it and go from there with what I've got.

I used this same recipe-summary approach to make the butternut squash soup today. Here's the rundown:

--Roasted the squash for 30 minutes in the oven with onions, garlic, and chicken broth.
--Added pumpkin pie spice and ginger.
--Pureed the lot and then simmered on the stove for 30 minutes.
--Added milk and brown sugar.

Unlike the spaghetti squash I made a couple weeks ago, there was nothing I could do to make this soup palatable to me. I should have guessed that I wouldn't like the soup when I didn't like the taste of the plain squash when I took it out of the oven. ABM and the kids don't like it, either, so it will get poured down the drain.

I've learned not to get angry when one of these kitchen experiments fails. Part of the reason we lived on frozen pizzas and hot dogs all these years is that they were safe bets. It frustrated me and ABM both to spend money on spices and fresh ingredients, only to end up throwing the result in the trash because no one would eat it. Now, instead of getting angry, I treat it like a learning experience. We want to eat fewer processed foods, so we have to learn what healthy foods can take the place of the frozen burritos and Lean Cuisines.

It helps that the kids are older. C1, C2, and DJ each cook dinner at least once a week, which takes the burden off of me. I am less annoyed about standing at the stove for so long today (I cooked dinner in addition to fiddling with the butternut squash) because I know that tomorrow night I can get one of them to cook dinner. The kids have grown into teens with more varied palates (other than M, who is my perpetual finicky eater) and they welcome trying new dishes. Out of the five of us still living here, chances are that at least three of us will like a new recipe. This rate of success makes it easier for me to deal with the few failures.

One step closer to fresh, and other thoughts on food

--ABM and I are finally on the same page when it comes to healthy eating. Not the same sentence, mind you (he had us on a severe low-carb regimen for two months), but at least we are on the same page. This means that we are bringing in more fresh foods to try. Since I am home all day and I have the kids to help me, a task like dicing fresh onions instead of using a bag of frozen ones from Walmart doesn't seem like such a chore. We probably won't go so far as eliminating all processed foods, but we are getting closer to simple old-fashioned eating.

--This week, I tried cooking spaghetti squash as a replacement for angel hair pasta. There was a sticker on the squash that gave cooking instructions: prick the squash with a fork, microwave for 15 minutes, bake in the regular oven for 60 minutes, then cut open. I've since learned that I could have stopped after the microwaving because the squash was done. Anyway, after I cooked the squash I added my favorite jarred spaghetti sauce. I didn't like it at first, but I'm glad I followed my instincts and put the leftover squash in the fridge. After a couple days, I reheated it with some cheese and mild Italian sausage. That made all the difference. The sausage added more flavor, and I think sitting in the refrigerator helped the texture of the squash. I would be willing to cook spaghetti squash again, especially since it would save me 180 calories a cup over pasta. This is one low-calorie substitution that doesn't feel like a sacrifice.

--Smoothies have been on my list of recipes to work into my diet for a while and I've finally started to do it. Calcium is one nutrient that I sorely lack, as evidenced by how easily I break myself! I remember being told by a doctor once that I have the bones of an 80-year-old woman, and I doubt the situation has gotten better over the past 20 years. Drinking smoothies seems like a painless way to increase my calcium on board, as well as up my fruit and veggie intake. So far, I've mainly been using strawberries, bananas, and peaches with milk. I tried spinach once and that was pretty good. Next on deck is carrots. 

--It's time for me to start thinking about having a spring vegetable garden. I've skipped gardening for the past several years for various reasons, but it would be a shame not to plant something this year while I am unemployed and have the time. I must resist the urge to go overboard, however. The seed catalogs always tempt me into believing that I can handle more than is realistic. Right now, my thoughts are to plant tomatoes, bell peppers, basil, and chives. Hopefully I can stick to that!

Why is the exercise getting harder?

Today, I had a meltdown in the car after Zumba class. I've been taking Zumba once a week for a couple months and I enjoy it. The music and the steps make me feel like I'm on vacation. The fact that I like it doesn't mean that I'm any good at it. In fact, it seems as though I'm getting worse instead of better.

A pain in my right hip that has plagued me off and on over the years decided to show up again about 10 days ago while I was in Zumba class. It was so strong that I had to skip the last 15 minutes of class. Today was my first class since that incident and I thought the pain was gone. This was my first class on a Wednesday, so I had never worked with the Wednesday instructor. At first I was happy because she seemed to go at a slightly slower pace than the other two instructors at the Y -- not exactly senior citizen Zumba, but I was able to catch my breath. Then, the hip pain showed up again. I stumbled along as best I could, but I was a mess. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I looked like I was about to pass out. This assessment was confirmed at the end of the 60-minute class when the other ladies asked me if I was OK and assured me that it gets better after the first time. I was so embarrassed! I've done Zumba at the Y at least six times, plus a couple times with videos at home.

I managed to keep my emotions in check while I waited for ABM to finish his workout, but I fell apart as soon as we got in the car. I was bawling full-on, which I rarely do in front of ABM because crying women annoy him (it comes from managing lots of women at work; he feels like he is being manipulated). To his credit, he did his best to reassure me that exercising is tough for him, too, and that it will get better. Then he drove by a walking trail that he discovered and mentioned that we could go walking there together when the weather warms up. After years of trying to get me to be more active, ABM is surprised that I have stuck with it for this long, and he may be afraid after this outburst that I am going to give up.

My expectations aren't that unrealistic. I don't put a lot of emphasis on my measurements or the number on the scale. I'm also not expecting to turn into an athlete overnight, or ever. What I was hoping for was to get better at exercising as I went along. The classes haven't gotten any longer, yet I'm having a tougher time getting through them and I am still sore after every Zumba session. What makes the lack of improvement even more frustrating is that I like Zumba. If it was the treadmill I was having a problem with, I wouldn't care. Zumba is sexy and fun and I want to look as good as the instructors do when I do it. I want my husband to pass by the classroom and be proud that he is married to such a vibrant woman instead of embarrassed that I am flailing around and gasping for air. Right now, it feels as though I will never get there.

It may not help, but I did it anyway

Have you ever been in so much discomfort that you do something you know won't work just to feel that you tried? That is where I am today.

I have a pain that pops up in my lower right back periodically. Actually it is so low that is more in my hip joint toward the back. Anyway, sometimes it goes away with rest, but there are other times (like today) where it lingers and travels down my entire leg. The pain is positioned in such a way that I can't get away from it. Standing hurts, walking hurts, sitting hurts. Ibuprofen doesn't make a dent at all. The pain is distracting me so much that I can't focus on anything, so I felt that I had to do something. I broke down and rubbed my hip and thigh with one of those pain-relieving creams that smell like an old folks' home and set your skin on fire. I've tried this before and it didn't really help much, but I felt like I had to do something.

What have you done when you were in pain, even though you knew it wouldn't give you much relief?

Starting 2013 a little healthier . . . maybe

ABM and I started working out again last summer and kicked it up a notch around November by going to the gym. I promised ABM that if we could manage a family membership to the YMCA, I would make an effort to go regularly with him. ABM spends his time on the machines while I take exercise classes. Exercise takes a lot out of me, so doing it while I am unemployed means I have time to recover when I get home.

In addition to the regular exercise, I finally let ABM talk me into doing a low-carb diet and taking an appetite suppressant. He has been trying to get me to do this off and on for a while. ABM believes that if you aren't doing something radical to lose weight, then you aren't trying hard enough. He punishes himself in the gym and deprives himself at the dinner table. That isn't something I am normally willing to do, especially long-term, but I am tired of fighting it. I figure if I do it his way, then I can say I tried it and he will leave me alone.

I've gone from one 20-minute exercise session a week to averaging between 85 and 125 minutes of exercise a week, but I still feel tired. I don't feel like I am building any stamina. My husband and other long-time exercisers keep telling me that this is a hump I will get over and that pretty soon I will feel energized, but I know that's not true for me. The year I spent in the military (before I broke my hip) was full of exercise and waking up at 5a, yet my body never got used to the exercise and I never turned into a morning person.

The low-carb diet isn't exactly agreeing with me, either. The appetite suppressant is keeping from me going into a rage over giving up bread, but I feel even more drained. Giving up cookies, candy, and the other junk carbs makes sense but I don't feel like I should give up all carbs. I'm trying to fill up on meat and veg, but I am really used to having rice or noodles or potatoes to round out the meal. I end up just eating the same amount of meat and veg as I usually do because I don't want any more than that. As a result, I may not be consuming enough calories.

The one benefit that I am getting out of this regimen is that ABM seems to be happier with me. He hasn't vocalized this, but I think that in his mind he is pleased that I am finally making an effort to lose this weight. He believes that if I'm not losing weight, it is because I am not trying hard enough. I have health conditions that aren't visible, but they make it difficult for me to lose weight and exercise as hard as ABM thinks I should. I'm pushing myself as much as I can, but I wonder how far I have to go before he realizes that this isn't going to work.

Why can't shorter workouts do the trick?

Today I tried out a new workout I found on the Sports and Fitness On Demand channel of Time Warner Cable. It is called Power Fusion, and it is supposed to be a combination of Pilates, yoga, and ballet. This 46-minute workout seemed gentle enough for me to handle with my various problems, but I still only made it through 11 minutes of it before I called it quits. Boredom and shoulder fatigue (there were a lot of arm movements in this routine) were only two of the reasons why I stopped. The third reason is that I have a lot of tasks that need my attention today and I felt guilty the whole time I was exercising. I want to be able to say that I finished a workout and derive the benefits from it, but I don't want it to take time away from everything else I have on my to-do list.

I can hear the skinny chicks and the fitness freaks now -- exercise in several 10-minute chunks a day. I've tried that approach, but I usually only work in one 10-minute chunk and check exercise off my list for the day. I believe the 10-minute chunk theory is what fitness experts offer lazy folks like me to try to lure us off the couch, hoping that once they've snagged us we will turn into 60-minute-a-day workout junkies. So far that hasn't worked for me. I'll hold on to the fact that I exercised for 11 minutes today as a badge of honor for the rest of the week and probably not work out again.

On the other end of the spectrum, ABM started exercising again after a long hiatus while he was grieving. He is beating himself up because he has only been able to spend 30 minutes on the treadmill for several of his sessions last week. To make up for it today (or punish himself -- I'm not sure which), he ran for his entire 30 minutes instead of alternating between walking and running as he usually does. ABM doesn't feel like he has truly worked out unless he has spent two hours exercising full-tilt. I wish that there was a 10-minute-a-day fitness miracle, more for ABM than for me. At least I don't beat myself up about not exercising, whereas he does.

Real-life shots of DJ's back

For those of you who couldn't get a sense of DJ's transformation from the x-rays, I thought I would share a couple photos I took of his back. The first one was taken a few weeks before the surgery, and the second one was taken yesterday. The doctor told DJ that he needs to retrain himself to hold his right shoulder up so that his shoulder blade doesn't stick out so much, but other than that he is doing fine. He did 20 minutes of a walking workout with us yesterday, so I know his stamina is coming back. Thanks again to everyone for their prayers and good thoughts!

How is our health?

I can't start a post about the family's health without giving an update on DJ's back. We are three weeks post-surgery and he is doing fine. At his post-op checkup the doctor said that DJ's curve straightened out better  than he expected. We were given an x-ray from moments after DJ was sewn up but the x-ray above is from his checkup two weeks later and he looks even better. I guess those rods and screws take time to settle. It was tough at first getting DJ to move around and do his stretches, but last week he was dancing me around the kitchen. I'm confident that he will be ready to go swimming when we take our vacation in September.

For the rest of the family, our health focus has been on fitness. C1 is my Skinny Minnie with very little upper body strength, so she has taken it upon herself to work on that with planks and push ups. C2  doesn't exercise often but she has inherited her father's natural strength and stamina, so she will jump in whenever the rest of us are working out and push us a few steps further. M is trying to get in better shape for all those hills she has to climb when she is at uni. C2 and M have taken to tag-teaming me to make me get off my butt and move. If I was planning to walk for 10 minutes, they will push me to do 20 minutes. Our current routine of choice is to walk in place Leslie Sansone-style while watching TV.

My ankles and feet still hurt weeks after they have supposedly healed, so I am dieting again. I know I said I was never going to start another diet, but the pain from a simple action like walking down the stairs has made me a tad desperate. I keep thinking that if I could get rid of some of the weight bearing down on my legs the pain might go away. I am combining Slim-Fast and the Change One program to try to lose a few pounds. I read the Change One book almost 10 years ago when it was first published by Reader's Digest. Basically, it is a 12-week program in which you incorporate one change to your lifestyle each week. I wasn't ready for it when I first read it, but I think I am ready now. With ABM trying to get back on track with his weight loss and the kids being concerned about my health, everyone in the house seems to be ready for healthy food and exercise. I don't lose weight quickly, anyway, so the slow approach will probably be less frustrating for me.

Update on My Wobbly Lower Half

Today I had a visit with the orthopedic specialist for another X-ray to check how my left foot is healing. It couldn't have come sooner because after 21 days of wearing this boot practically around the clock, I am starting to feel trapped. My poor office mate got an earful yesterday; I unloaded all my miseries on him! It may sound crazy to some, but being stuck asking people to wait on you is not as fun as it sounds. Not only have I been feeling guilty, but limping around with crutches and a boot makes me feel fat and ugly. I can't stand in front of the mirror long enough to do a decent job with my hair and only my sloppy clothes fit over the stupid boot. On top of that, my body is stiff and sluggish from sitting most of the day. I mean, I've never been an athletic person, but I can't even walk around the house right now. As much as I dislike exercise, I have never been so eager to get on a treadmill in my life!

Anyway, the ortho gave me some good news and some not-so-good news. After my emotional low yesterday I was hoping that he would say I could get rid of the boot and/or the crutches, but that was not the case. Today's X-ray didn't look much different from the first one three weeks ago. The good part of that is the ligaments aren't spreading, so I'm not a candidate for surgery. The not-so-good part is that there hasn't been much healing of the bone, so I still have to wear the boot and use the crutches and keep my weight off my foot as much as possible. I have to do that for three more weeks, then if there is significant healing I can go for three weeks with just the boot and no crutches. The best news of the entire visit was that I can take the boot off once I'm settled down for the evening. Huzzah! I will get so much more rest now that I don't have wear the boot to bed.

On Being Afraid of My Own Feet

One consequence of having a broken left foot and a sprained right ankle is that I have become afraid to put weight on them. As I write this, I am avoiding going to the bathroom because I don't want to walk. The fear of pain is usually worse than the actual pain of walking to the restroom. Unfortunately, every third or fourth time that I have to put weight on my feet I get a searing pain that justifies my fear of walking.

Besides the pain, there is also the fear of my feet and legs not supporting me. I got into this predicament in the first place because I lost my balance twice in the space of 15 days. Right now I have lost faith in the ability of my legs and feet to do their job. It doesn't help that the heavy walking boot I am required to wear for 23 hours a day makes me feel unstable, especially on the stairs.

I'm sure that this hesitation is normal but I don't want to live like this for six weeks. When I broke my right foot in 2009, it took me about a week to adjust to the boot and then I was able to get back to my normal routine. I still had my good left foot to lean on, though. This time, I have to put my weight on a foot that isn't much more stable than my broken one and it is hurting more each day. The boot makes it difficult for me to sleep (yes, I have to sleep in it!). I have to rely on my upper arms a lot more than usual to help me get out of chairs and propel myself down the hall with my walker, and my upper-body strength was limited to begin with. All of this combined leaves me shaky, weak, and afraid to take a shower or walk down the stairs. April can't get here soon enough for me!

Let's break this orthopedic curse, shall we?

Thursday was already going to be a stressful day. We were finally going to the scoliosis specialist to discuss surgery to straighten out the curve in DJ's spine. We've known for a while that this was a possibility, but ABM has been trying from the beginning to find an alternative.

So what did I do to make this difficult day even more emotionally charged? Why, I fell and hurt my left foot as I was heading downstairs for my morning coffee! As you may recall, I fell down the stairs and sprained my right foot on Valentine's Day. Because that foot and ankle still feel weak, I was being careful as I walked down the stairs but I guess I wasn't careful enough. The gremlins that live on my staircase still found a way to trip me up.

The results from this week's orthopedic odyssey:

1.  DJ's curve has increased from 59 degrees to 79 degrees, so he will most likely be having surgery in June. This will give him plenty of time to recover before our vacation in September. He enjoys getting in the water so much and I would hate for him to miss that.

2.  I have a Lisfranc fracture, and the orthopedic doctor I saw today opted for the non-surgical approach. The main reason for putting pins in my foot would be to hold the ligaments together while they heal, similar to the way a woodworker clamps wood together until the wood glue sets. Since there isn't a huge tear in my ligaments, they may heal on their own if I don't put any weight on my foot. That means I have to wear a boot 23 hours a day and if I have to walk, I must use crutches or a walker. If I haven't shown any improvement in three weeks, then I may be having surgery.

After losing his mother due to complications from an orthopedic surgery, ABM is even more freaked out about anyone else in the family having surgery. Now he is looking at the possibility of two surgeries this year. As they say, those that know the word of prayer . . . At this point, I will also take good thoughts from my atheist and agnostic pals as well as a good spell or two from my Wiccan friends!

It's February, and the bruises are in bloom

My bruises from last Tuesday's fall are just starting to show up. As usual, my attention was focused on the most insistent pain so I didn't notice that I actually banged up several parts of my body on the tumble down the stairs.  Yesterday while I was bathing, the bruises began to appear like purple flowers all over my arms and legs.

Other than looking like a spotted wonder, I think I'm healing quite nicely. Putting weight on my right leg doesn't hurt as much, but I do feel weak all over so I'm not ready to try the stairs yet. This means my lovely teenagers have been cooking meals and doing chores this weekend. I've felt guilty about fobbing off so much of the work on them in the past, but now I can see that it was good training for a situation like this.

Update on My Leg

My right leg, which I injured on Valentine's Day, seems to be improving. I stayed out of work on Wednesday and after a day spent with my leg propped up, I thought I could make it to work on Thursday. That was not the best decision. I made it through the day but I was worn out, sore, and cranky by 5p. With diligent care on Tuesday night and Wednesday I had managed to avoid swelling. By 4:30p yesterday my ankle was visibly bloated and the pain extended from my big toe all the way up to my butt.

Even with all that, I am walking better than I was on Tuesday. Since my leg is improving, I stuck with my decision not to go to the doctor. I stayed home today to get the swelling back down. Hopefully, everything will be back to normal by Monday.

Not Exactly Tripping the Light Fantastic

Tripping over my own feet is becoming a common occurrence with me, and I did it again this evening. I was carrying a basket of laundry downstairs and I lost my footing on the last couple of steps. My right leg slammed against the floor, but I don't think I broke anything this time. It does hurt too much to walk it off, so I am following all the suggestions for a sprained ankle. I wrapped it in a compression bandage, propped it up on a pillow, put an ice pack on it, and took some ibuprofen.

My son DJ was a rock star during all this. He stood next to me while I was banging the floor and waiting for the  pain to subside enough to go upstairs. He helped me wrap my ankle and brought me the other things I needed. Having kids old enough and strong enough to assist me in a situation like this is a blessing.

I was debating whether I should have called ABM right when it happened. The fall occurred about an hour before he was going to get off work, so I figured it could wait until he got home. Considering ABM's state of mind lately, he will either be exasperated because I fell again or angry because he thinks I should have called him sooner. That may sound harsh, but I know that being married to a clumsy woman must be tiring for him.