21 September 2005

Thanks, but I really am lazy

Sharon left a very supportive comment in response to my post on Sunday about being a good helpmeet for ABM. I thank you, Sharon, for your concern and your prayers. However, I have to ignore all advice to strike a balance and take care of myself. You see, I really am lazy (I'm assuming that you don't know me in real life because your name is drawing a blank -- if I do know you, please jog my memory). People laugh when I say that I come home and do nothing, but it is true.

Let's take today. I asked the kids if they did their homework and I listened to DJ read for about five minutes. That is the most mothering I intend to do today. The kids are at church, where they will be fed. I am going to watch TV and knit until they get home, then I will send them to bed and watch some more TV. I will not be reading any bedtime stories, asking anyone about their day, or even washing the dishes that are starting to fall out of the sink because they are stacked so high. This wouldn't be so bad if it was just one day, but I do this a lot.

I have a bad habit of using well-meaning comments from online friends and coworkers to support my laziness. "Being the working mother of four kids is a tough job, so I deserve to sit down here and relax." I imagine that it would be a tough job if actually did anything. The toughest part of my job is stressing about what I'm not doing and trying to keep ABM distracted from the fact that I'm not doing it. So if I sound like I am being hard on myself, it is only so I can make myself see the real situation more clearly.

I'm actually much better than I was 10 years ago; it doesn't take nearly as long for me to fed up with the poor state of the house and start cleaning something. TV shows like How Clean is Your House? make me feel good that my house isn't that gross as well as inspire me to make it even cleaner.
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