I get that sinking feeling . . .
. . . when I think of being the mother of a teenager. Tomorrow is M's first day of high school. I worry about her being able to find her locker and get to class on time. I worry about her getting good grades. Some of the stuff she has to do scares me, like the big community service project she has to come up with for 10th grade and the project she has to present for senior year. I couldn't have done that when I was in high school; I probably couldn't even do it now!
I still have all these fears left over from my own high school years. I was a quirky kid with crooked teeth who didn't get asked out on dates. I ended up hanging out on the fringes of groups who just put up with me, but I don't think anybody really liked me. Even though I live in the same area I grew up in, I don't have a single friend from my high school days.
When we went to orientation last week, I watched M wave at people as we walked through the halls. She was oblivious to the fact that half of them barely gave her a nod. M goes on cheerfully without a thought that some of these people probably don't like her. High school can be a very cruel place. Knowing that someone is going to burst her happiness bubble soon makes my heart sink like a stone.
9 comments:
My son just started his senior year in high school - it is a sinking feeling indeed.
We are neighbors! I teach kindergarten for Charlotte!
I love this line: "I ended up hanging out on the fringes of groups who just put up with me" Because that is EXACTLY how I felt in high school too! I wish I knew then that it would get so much better once I stopped caring!!
Good luck tomorrow. I know I will have a lot of tearful moms.
Dani, thanks for sharing your feelings about your daughter starting high school. As you saw on my blog, I too am going thru the challenges of watching a child enter a new phase of education. It's so hard, but I pray hard every day for my son to be strong, to befriend the ones who aren't popular, and to be someone that others will emulate - because of his good behavior and strong character.
In between prayers, though, I admit that I worry sometimes and cry sometimes for his safety.
Thanks for your comments too.
Peace to you tonight as you prepare yourself and your daughter for tomorrow.
Gail - in Charlotte
I'm a mom of an incoming 1st grader and everything you post about does seem scary, even if it's still several years away for us.
Each of my boys vision of the world is different. The oldest was crushed by a rebuff from a girl at 3 and is afraid of everyone. My #2 loves everyone and is loved by all. #3 pushes buttons and clowns around. I was a fringe person also and the most important thing I've had to work on is not to project me on them. They are all different and cope the way thats best for them. I just try to be there. I feel your pain and worry.
As a teacher I can tell you that the kids who are not part of any group turn out to be the best. THey are capable of coping alone. I was a fringe person and now I deal with teenagers, their parents, counsellors.
Don't worry too much. She is going to be fine.
She sounds fabulous, confident, positive! Please don't let her feel your sinking feeling, it's your problem not hers - you're going to be even more proud of her!
How well I remember being in school and feeling so inferior. No matter what.
Good, sincere and frank post on growing up pains. I would consider it as a sinking feeling that comes about because you knew what is to come now that she is entering another phase of growth in her life. Her experience would be very different from yours, so have confidence that she'll ride the journey well.
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