06 March 2007

Wanker and Wherewithal

Strange phrases come out of my mouth when I am lecturing my children. Most women find themselves repeating admonitions that their own mothers spouted years ago. The situations my mother warned me about don't apply to my own children, so I find myself creating my own family catchphrases and euphemisms.

Today's phrase is "wanker and wherewithal". The kids have blossomed to the point that they can't walk around in their undies anymore. As I was explaining to DJ why he couldn't sit on the couch in his tightie whities, it seemed too precious to call his budding boyhood a "pee-pee". The word "wanker" tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. Tonight, I had to explain to M that she couldn't wear that sheer nightgown unless she paired it with an undershirt. Of course, she pointed to DJ. "Wanker and wherewithal" was born -- new shorthand for telling the lot of them to cover their bits.

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