18 November 2011

On Watching My Husband Grieve

It has been a month since the MIL passed, and people are starting to hint to ABM that he shouldn't still be so upset. All this does is pile guilt on top of the grief he is already trying to crawl out from under. He has always been a "suck it up and drive on" type of guy. He is trying to apply that philosophy to this situation and it isn't working. His head and his heart are at war right now, and I'm the journalist on the front lines reporting back to the folks at home -- I can only observe.

Watching ABM sort out his emotions and try to get through each day is gut-wrenching. If I could touch him and absorb his pain to give him some relief, I would. Every conversation is a minefield. Talking about inconsequential subjects like who is getting voted off of "The X-Factor" seems heartless, but whenever I say anything in reference to his mum I run the risk of making him break down again. If this were a physical ailment like a broken leg, I could at least bring him dinner and make him comfortable on the couch. There isn't much I can do to soothe his broken heart.

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