24 April 2006

Someone to watch over me?

This weekend, one of my teeth cracked. I've already posted about what rotten condition my teeth are in, so this wasn't a surprise. This tooth has been bothering since I got a root canal and filling in it about four years ago. There have been many days that I wanted to grab a pair of pliers and yank it out myself.

Anyway, I finally have a reason to go back to the dentist. I just got dental insurance which makes me feel a little more comfortable about going. The thing that is making me uncomfortable is ABM's attitude. Whenever I go to receive medical treatment for anything, he complains about the cost. I try to remind myself that he complains about the cost of a lot of things, including his own visits to the doctor, but I still end up feeling guilty about costing the family money.

What I really want is a man who takes care of me. I don't necessarily mean a man who makes enough money to allow me to stay home, although that is my ultimate dream. I'm talking about a husband who takes care of me with his attitude. "Honey, I know that tooth is bothering you. Go ahead and make the appointment; we'll find a way to pay for it." The sad thing is that ABM used to be that man until I beat it out of him. Early on in our marriage, I was young and stupid and thought that I shouldn't let a man do anything for me because that gave him permission to order me around. Our marriage survived my childish attitude and is better than ever, but there are some aspects of ABM's former personality that I will never see again.
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