This week's one-word prompt is "decision". Methinks the word "indecision" would be more appropriate for me. I have the worst time making decisions, especially when it comes to spending money. Second-guessing would be a relief; I third-, fourth-, and fifth-guess myself. I'm so worried about making the wrong decision that I tend not to do anything at all.
Conventional wisdom suggests that there is never a perfect time to have a baby. For me, there is never a perfect time to spend money. If you could take a picture of me trying to decide when to buy something, it would look like a girl waiting for the right time to jump in on a turning double-dutch rope. I keep telling myself that I will do it after the next paycheck, then the next paycheck, then the next paycheck . . .
Once I talk myself into spending the money on an item, then I take days to research which model or brand of said item I want to get. Oftentimes I am still making the decision as I am walking up to the cash register. I do the same thing when I am ordering in a restaurant. Many times I don't know what I am going to order until the waitress gets to me and I blurt out something.
This paralyzing indecision isn't limited to spending money. When I set up my gaming and reading blogs, I spent so much time trying to pick templates and reading up on the best ad layout that I wasn't writing any content. I was so afraid of getting everything set up on Blogger and then realizing that I should have used Wordpress or TypePad.
Whether it comes to money or time, I want to get things right the first time. I look back at all the poor decisions I made in the past (some of which I am still living with the consequences of) and instead of learning from them, I have become afraid of making even more. No one can live an error-free life, but at least I can't be accused of deciding blindly.