18 November 2007

Got my heart broken again

We got a call from M's Spanish teacher this evening. She hasn't been turning in her homework. The teacher says that M is well-behaved and participates in class but rarely turns in her work. At this point she has only turned in 11 of the last 36 homework assignments.

This has been a recurring theme since 5th grade. No matter what we say to M, it doesn't sink in. She doesn't care enough to do the work or when she does the work, she doesn't remember to turn it in. ABM is furious at her for lying to us yet again, but I am ready to wash my hands of the whole thing. I know that is a bad attitude for a parent, but I feel more like a mistreated girlfriend in this situation. I keep trusting M and even defending her to her father, and she keeps letting me down. Just this week I was trying to talk ABM into getting her a new mobile phone because she has been so responsible with the castoff one we have been letting her use. Now I feel foolish for pleading her case.

The sad part is that I see so much of myself in M that I don't even feel qualified to lecture her. I remember being her age and just trying to get from one day to the next. I had dreams of what my future would look like but no real ambition or drive when it came to achieving that future. I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit that she inherited her lousy work ethic from me. Knowing that and seeing how I turned out, I feel like there is nothing left to do but turn my attention to the other three kids and hope for the best.
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