02 October 2012

Perhaps I should start lying

Right before I wrote this post, I spent 90 minutes completing an online assessment for a part-time sales job at a mobile phone store. As many of you know, I spend a lot of time watching, reading, and listening to tech news. I like to keep up with the latest advancements in computers and mobile gadgets, so I thought this might be a good job for me. The online assessment apparently indicated otherwise because I got a rejection email as soon as I finished the test. 

Unfortunately, this has been a recurring experience over the past three months. The instructions on each assessment caution the applicant to be truthful and that certain questions have been included in the assessment to trip up liars. It isn't in my nature to lie, anyway, so I give honest answers. I say "no" to questions like "Do you enjoy multitasking?", even though I'm pretty sure they want applicants who answer "yes". All my honesty is doing is keeping me unemployed. 

Just once, I would like an opportunity to be brutally honest. I wish I could say on an application,"We both know that I am not applying for this job because I want to advance in the ranks of your organization or have an abiding love for the widgets your company makes. I need a job because I have bills to pay, and you need someone who will do the entry-level grunt work. I'm not a superstar employee, but I'm faithful and I'm consistent. You can expect to see me at the beginning of every shift doing my work. I don't have babysitter issues or transportation problems. I won't complain about how little money I make or how unfair the rules are around here. I keep my head down and do my job. Please hire me."
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