12 February 2012

On Seeing Death Wherever You Look

We're all familiar with the phenomenon of seeing something everywhere once it applies to you. It's cute when you get your first pair of glasses or your first mobile phone and notice how many other people have them. When you've been through a tragedy, however, seeing others go through the same sadness can be like a weight added to your already heavy burden.

When ABM heard about Whitney Houston's death, it cast a pall over the day. He wasn't exactly a big fan of hers, but his heart immediately went out to Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina.  He feels totally lost without his mother and he can imagine it will be even worse for her since she is only 18. This morning at work ABM found out that a family friend passed away, and it hit him so hard that he left work and came right back home. We hadn't seen her in a while, but she was still on the short list of people he would have turned to if his mother couldn't help him with something. It was a shock to us both when we saw her at his mother's funeral; illness had  changed her appearance so much that I didn't even recognize her. Still, ABM wasn't prepared to hear that she passed away.

Even though ABM knows that people die every day, right now it seems as though death is surrounding him more that usual. TV and movies, which work as an escape for me, have been torture for him. Every movie or TV show seems to have a death in it somewhere, and I'm not just talking about the detective shows and the dramas. If you watch a reality show, there will be a participant whose business declined after the death of her mother or a singer who is dedicating his audition to his mother who is dying of cancer. Today I had to hit the mute button to keep ABM from hearing such a scene while I was watching TV. I wonder when we will get to the day where I can stop doing that.
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