20 August 2005

Third Wheel

ABM has one day off a week on this new schedule, so he tries to cram everything into that day. Since most of his friends are also off on the same day, there is a lot of competition for his time. Today he is going to the drive-in movies with the kids. A perfect family outing, you say? Yes, it would be, except that he and one of his friends took the kids. ABM asked me to come along, but I don't feel comfortable going out with him and his single friend even if the kids are there. If his friend had a girlfriend, the dynamic would feel more balanced. ABM invited this same friend to come with us when we went back-to-school shopping and it felt terribly awkward to me. I can't talk freely about family stuff in front of the guy, and he can't talk about guy stuff with me around. ABM doesn't see any of this, though; he just thinks that I am being selfish. I don't have any problem at all with him hanging out with his boys. I think that I am more understanding about it than most of the wives we know. When he was on the 10-hour shift, he would frequently go out on Friday night with his boys as soon as I got home. He can't see the difference between that and inviting his boys in on our family time.
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