06 July 2006

Poetry Thursday: Do You Know Who I Am?

This week, I chose to use a previous Poetry Thursday prompt that suggested finding inspiration from a single line of poetry. I read a poem on the Sunday School Rebel blog recently about pet names. A line in it made me want to write a poem of my own. The line was "and our names have fallen away". In the original poem this was a sign of the couple's intimacy, but it felt sad to me. At first I was just going to go with that feeling, but then I challenged myself to work the actual line into my poem.

This poem is a bit different that what I started with a few days' ago. Samantha, the author of the Sunday School Rebel, confirmed my suspicion that my first draft strayed away from the mood her original line conjured for me. So I scrapped everything but the first stanza and did a rewrite. If anyone would like to see the first draft for a comparison, let me know in the comments and I will post it.

Do You Know Who I Am?

We've been together so long
That we barely glance at each other
And our names have fallen away
Which seems so wrong.

We pass each other in hallways
And trade chore lists,
Settled in the mundane details
Of intertwined lives.

Our names have been replaced with
"Can you?" and
"Would you?" and
"Come here, please."

We've abandoned many niceties
For the sake of
Easy companionship
But my name on your lips
Is what I miss the most.

--Dani Sanders, 06 July 2006
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